Friday, February 11, 2005
How Obedient Do I Have to Be?
It is the same ol' struggle - I give but do I give enough? Since I'm asking the question I often think the answer is no I don't give enough. I have a car which I do not drive, I am paid money and have been blessed financially LOTS, and I am not married (to my dismay) so I have a higher disposable income.
Then there is the practical thing - I can't back pay for past tithes due to grace (grace is an ugly thing that way), I'm only responsible for the decisions and requests God makes of me NOW, and my stewardship like my relationship with God is a gradual thing with sections of backsliding and starting over. I can't give enough to get me out of sin - Jesus did that on the cross, yet I can give because Jesus died on the cross and because I see a need and God wants me to be obedient to His word, commandments and the Holy Spirit proddings.
So we come full circle - while listening to God and doing what I should, do I give enough? I've heard the time argument (time=money) and I think it is crap and a cop out. I'm covered by grace, yet still feel burdened to give which to me is a good thing when I remember and do. So I guess I'll never give enough, yet when I give generously (more than I naturally would want to give) I'll be honouring the kingdom of God and improving my relationship and understanding of Christ. Its hard and I hope for better understanding of this....
Then there is the practical thing - I can't back pay for past tithes due to grace (grace is an ugly thing that way), I'm only responsible for the decisions and requests God makes of me NOW, and my stewardship like my relationship with God is a gradual thing with sections of backsliding and starting over. I can't give enough to get me out of sin - Jesus did that on the cross, yet I can give because Jesus died on the cross and because I see a need and God wants me to be obedient to His word, commandments and the Holy Spirit proddings.
So we come full circle - while listening to God and doing what I should, do I give enough? I've heard the time argument (time=money) and I think it is crap and a cop out. I'm covered by grace, yet still feel burdened to give which to me is a good thing when I remember and do. So I guess I'll never give enough, yet when I give generously (more than I naturally would want to give) I'll be honouring the kingdom of God and improving my relationship and understanding of Christ. Its hard and I hope for better understanding of this....
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Why Did God Make Dorks?
The more I know the more I feel stupider because I realize how little I actually know. It started when I met God and he let me ask the questions I had. Only, when God would respond it would spur like 20 more questions and not concrete answers that left me at peace. So I stopped asking questions about life, the world and such.
Recently I started praying deep into God's word and looking at my sins, my desires, my past, and my future. I feel frustrated that there is no instant fact that will make it all alright, and as often as we try in Sunday school Jesus isn't always the answer that brings peace. Luke 12:51-53 shows this too clearly!
"Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." (NASB)
So knowledge is folly, yet here I am at Bible school chasing it and chasing a dream and chasing woman - yes a woman (who woulda though???). Oh well, as I take 1 step forward I take 3 back and continue toward the prize.... I think?!?
Recently I started praying deep into God's word and looking at my sins, my desires, my past, and my future. I feel frustrated that there is no instant fact that will make it all alright, and as often as we try in Sunday school Jesus isn't always the answer that brings peace. Luke 12:51-53 shows this too clearly!
"Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." (NASB)
So knowledge is folly, yet here I am at Bible school chasing it and chasing a dream and chasing woman - yes a woman (who woulda though???). Oh well, as I take 1 step forward I take 3 back and continue toward the prize.... I think?!?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I'd just like to say thanks for inviting me to yet another blog....k seriously I have 5 of them and I am having a hard time keeping up with them all....oh well, life goes on....gonna make this one short....a little about myself I guess. I am a Christian and have been for 15 years. I go to bible college and I am training to be a youth worker. I have a passion for youth and it breaks my heart to see them hurting. Um, I am a hopeless romantic...although I am still single...boo...oh well. I love Jesus and that's all that matters...see ya!
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