Why Be Good When Your Best Isn't Good Enough?

"Two are better than 1 because they have a good return for their labour. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."

I look at my life and I think I've learned wisdom, but in fact it I've seen it right in front of me but slipping through my hands like grains of sand. I think I've learned knowledge but realized that I have books upon books of information and know how to research, but knowledge is elusive too. I can reason with the best of them but what I've come to realize is that reasoning, debating arguing has nothing to do with truth but a poor representation of facts that entirely are devoid of truth. So I am forced to ask what does matter but those who call to us when they need help. Our ability to live compassion through helping, listening, smiling, giving.

It is here where we find ourselves. It is here where we become more than just a shallow shell of potential and see the benefits from years of struggles. I truly don't think one person ever had it easy, but what got them there was the lists of people who had their back.

This is a good time to be alive folks and I'm really enjoying 2008 so far. At this pace I'm hoping to be there for 2009 cuz there will that much more in the opportunity side for us all if we keep giving it our all. Good morning and see you in 8 hours world.

I reached the wall below my window today with only the Tupperware crypt as I call it left. I never thought I`d ever see floor there again. Now with the 2nd and 3rd boxes full of junk and 2 full boxes of clothing to sort through, I see the chance to reduce what I never needed in the first place. I`m downsizing the wires I have so many of plus miscellaneous tech nicknack's which are taking up space in my computer drawer. I even found a box I`m sending to a friend thats value is undecided but will benefit him more than me.

This all leads me to ask why and how did I get here in the first place. I know I`ve said it before, but I already downsized twice to move and yet here I am reducing the same or more than the total of those two times. There are three stacks of papers I`ve put aside so many times they need to be organized by filing or shredding. I have car parts in my apartment too; I think I failed to mention this. I`m shaking my head realizing how stupid it was not to get rid of what I didn`t want in the first place. Could it be my wants where they needed to be in the first place; could it be I was so distracted by other things my wants caused me to cling to what ever I could and my apathy kept me from doing anything about it.

Well here we are going on 3am and I want to get the next box, but I`ve come to realize I also need to do the other things important to me. Things such as sleep, take my pills & vitamins, eat healthy (I`ve already shed over 15 of the Christmas pounds), exercise (something I`m dreadfully sloppy about doing consistently, especially simple things like stretches). Tomorrow I`ll start the work that is set before me, fixing my eyes on my reward for wanting to work hard, wanting to move forward, and wanting to shed encumbrances. Its in my moving forward I find more energy not growing weary or lose heart.

Well I brought down a box full of garbage to the trash today worth of miscellaneous papers and junk and I've barely made a dent out of my boxes and amassed junk.

I threw out 5 of 7 discs of stored information and downsized that info again to less than 1 CD writable worth of information. So not only have I in my efforts to downsize reduced what I have I've been able to reorganize all together. Small 14" LCD monitor or Big Bertha sized 15" flat screened monitor with speakers - I took the LCD. I now have a desk and a plan of attack for the papers on my desk I have to deal with. There we have a living room (except for the garbage box in the middle and the boxes lining the back of the dining room table). My guests will die of shock when they see the improvements around here.

Pulling 1 piece of luggage, putting away 1 pile of dirty laundry and moving 1 box enabled me to see the first 5' of room space in over a month in my room. Looking towards the window there are not as many boxes as I remembered (but never could look to do a real count because of the clutter). The storage room isn't as bad as I remembered either, but still it will be work.

So, there you have it. In 4 days I was able to do what I haven't been able to do since July and that is find our living room; plan my next few months; downsize the amount of junk around the computer desk; organize my computer files; get the computer's RAM functioning to maximum capacity; set up a cleaning schedule for the apartment; setup a grocery shopping list system that works and keeps our costs focussed; figure out where my finances need to be focussed for the next 2 months. Okay, I did not get the letters of support done, but I now have the space to sit down and finish them tomorrow morning. The first run to the thrift store with material is tomorrow and I might feel remorseful after parting with items then but for now I celebrate in the gigabytes of information deleted, kilograms of paper recycled, and square footage I now can say exists on my desk, in my living room, and one can experience when they first enter the apartment.