Friday, February 23, 2007
Fasting, My Brain on Tests and Other Things that Make You Cringe
I started a fast from sarcasm and caffein 3 days ago. What does this mean? I means no caffein or sarcasm for 40 days which ends on April 2nd, 2007. I chose the 2 because they each represent a problem in my life one is an addiction of things I put in my and the other is an addiction of things coming out of me Simplified, caffein represents how I've failed to tame my body and I've let addiction take control and my body dictate what I feed it.; sarcasm represents how far my heart and mind have gone and I've failed to curb them to a point where I have to start at what comes out of my lips and work back towards my mind and then my heart (I only pray I have mind control after 40 day).
How have I done so far? Well the caffein is easy to keep out and I have had to start napping to get my engergy back up, but its good. Sarcasm while I've been fighting this energy zapping is difficult though sarcasm has left my lips three times, I've had to stop and reflect on 5 other times my mind has thought it. This will be my hardest battle and I knew that going in.
The fact I chose to do this on lent and during midterms another headach unto itself. The good news is midterms are over - JOY OH JOY! Think about this I don't have to write another midterm unless I want to... wait a sec I wrote the last 6 semesters worth because I wanted to... Go figure. The battle is better from here on (I only have 9 things do do between now and then paper wise - the best part is I'll have 2 of them done before tomorrow, so don't worry).
As when I've fasted food in the past I've noticed that I notice things more. Is that natural I don't know - without coffee the smell of ground coffee is YiYiYi (or as the French say it OHlala!) and the taste I know will be even better should I chose to taste another taste from the April 2nd on. I've started reading again a book that I haven't read for my own ENJOYMENT in a long long time, the Bible. I've discovered that as many choose Luke or Matthew or Paul as their inspired writes of the New Testament I'm so drawn to John. If you read his books you read his views on grace, love and people AND the measure it takes to love God; this was also the guy who after evangelizing a city walked out with disgust and asked Jesus to shower meteors down on it. I could get into this guy a heart like no other, but still faces the frustrations and needs to be showered grace as he learned wisdom and if you read 1st, 2nd & 3rd John you'll see he learned wisdom.
I promised this would never be a Bible lesson, so let me tell you more about this coming week. It is Spring Break, so time for me to write, play, and play some more. I'm excited about that. I hope to see my sister but that is depending on there being someone to take my work shifts. Life is good and I feel good and think good right now. I hope you are all doing well! Please reply and let me know what is going on....
How have I done so far? Well the caffein is easy to keep out and I have had to start napping to get my engergy back up, but its good. Sarcasm while I've been fighting this energy zapping is difficult though sarcasm has left my lips three times, I've had to stop and reflect on 5 other times my mind has thought it. This will be my hardest battle and I knew that going in.
The fact I chose to do this on lent and during midterms another headach unto itself. The good news is midterms are over - JOY OH JOY! Think about this I don't have to write another midterm unless I want to... wait a sec I wrote the last 6 semesters worth because I wanted to... Go figure. The battle is better from here on (I only have 9 things do do between now and then paper wise - the best part is I'll have 2 of them done before tomorrow, so don't worry).
As when I've fasted food in the past I've noticed that I notice things more. Is that natural I don't know - without coffee the smell of ground coffee is YiYiYi (or as the French say it OHlala!) and the taste I know will be even better should I chose to taste another taste from the April 2nd on. I've started reading again a book that I haven't read for my own ENJOYMENT in a long long time, the Bible. I've discovered that as many choose Luke or Matthew or Paul as their inspired writes of the New Testament I'm so drawn to John. If you read his books you read his views on grace, love and people AND the measure it takes to love God; this was also the guy who after evangelizing a city walked out with disgust and asked Jesus to shower meteors down on it. I could get into this guy a heart like no other, but still faces the frustrations and needs to be showered grace as he learned wisdom and if you read 1st, 2nd & 3rd John you'll see he learned wisdom.
I promised this would never be a Bible lesson, so let me tell you more about this coming week. It is Spring Break, so time for me to write, play, and play some more. I'm excited about that. I hope to see my sister but that is depending on there being someone to take my work shifts. Life is good and I feel good and think good right now. I hope you are all doing well! Please reply and let me know what is going on....
Monday, February 19, 2007
1 Week Later....
Well my computer works (sort of), my job is good, I love my classes (and now for the challenge - learning to love my teachers), and friends are amazing... just need to remember that they are people with emotions... :S.
Lent is approaching (Wednesday) and I'm struggling as to what I should give up? Addictions I have a few: caffein, my computer, sarcasm, and talking. I'm strongly considering sarcasm and caffein for 40 days. That would take care of 2 of the greatest parts that work against me - a drug and a communication hindrance. My goal, go without coffee, pop & other caffein items until I have this under control again and have eliminated it as an addictive property but a choice in my life - 21 day plus 19 to figure out caffein; With sarcasm its the chance to look at how I communicate and closer analyse my speach patterns. The overall goal is to develop a stronger understanding of God as I fast from those 2 parts of my life.
I faced my first hard choice as I chose not to see Ghost Rider a film I grew up reading the comics for. I also had to decifer my need for computers versus my wants for computers and have set some stronger boundaries realizing the people will always come first in this place. I just started reading a book by Henri Nouwen on helping people - I love Henri Nouwen's biography as he was an established Priest who taught at Yale & Harvard who gave up the status to become a chaplain at L'Arche Daybreak a community for mentally handicapped people who would NEVER understand let alone appreciate his credentials.
This is one week since I first started the pondry of "what is my life?" and "how to I want it to look?". The findings are small, but the change is there. I made some other commitments like focussing more on my studies and doing more actions to reflect why I am at school. So far this week I've found tonnes of distractions that when I have passed by them left me wondering if I should have engaged and could I have made a difference or were they just as I treated them, a distraction and taking me away from what I'm trying to accomplish.
I still don't know "where to go from here?", but I am still looking and still excited about the process. Your thoughts?
Lent is approaching (Wednesday) and I'm struggling as to what I should give up? Addictions I have a few: caffein, my computer, sarcasm, and talking. I'm strongly considering sarcasm and caffein for 40 days. That would take care of 2 of the greatest parts that work against me - a drug and a communication hindrance. My goal, go without coffee, pop & other caffein items until I have this under control again and have eliminated it as an addictive property but a choice in my life - 21 day plus 19 to figure out caffein; With sarcasm its the chance to look at how I communicate and closer analyse my speach patterns. The overall goal is to develop a stronger understanding of God as I fast from those 2 parts of my life.
I faced my first hard choice as I chose not to see Ghost Rider a film I grew up reading the comics for. I also had to decifer my need for computers versus my wants for computers and have set some stronger boundaries realizing the people will always come first in this place. I just started reading a book by Henri Nouwen on helping people - I love Henri Nouwen's biography as he was an established Priest who taught at Yale & Harvard who gave up the status to become a chaplain at L'Arche Daybreak a community for mentally handicapped people who would NEVER understand let alone appreciate his credentials.
This is one week since I first started the pondry of "what is my life?" and "how to I want it to look?". The findings are small, but the change is there. I made some other commitments like focussing more on my studies and doing more actions to reflect why I am at school. So far this week I've found tonnes of distractions that when I have passed by them left me wondering if I should have engaged and could I have made a difference or were they just as I treated them, a distraction and taking me away from what I'm trying to accomplish.
I still don't know "where to go from here?", but I am still looking and still excited about the process. Your thoughts?
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