Why Be Good When Your Best Isn't Good Enough?

What do you do to relax? I have a nice cup of tea on a comfy chair while letting my mind fade into the world and let my temporary worries slip away.....

Okay, now we have left the fantasy world for a second - this 1) doesn't work well or 2) for very long. I have found anxiety can over take me VERY easily if I do not take steps to have control of my life. And these don't always work because I have a hard time saying no to friends and even there they want help or advice. I'm very glad I've come to the realization my advice giving isn't a permanent solution, so listening becomes the priority. Of course listening takes time, so the chance to sit on a chair and sip tea is all but gone now. Besides blanking out during conversations with friends or clients (both are not very appreciative when that happens for some reason), time to myself is a hard thing to do without a personal hobbie.

I recently found a new way to relax. Believe it or not gratefulness. As I read, clean, spend time with friends, work, sleep, walk, drive, listen I am grateful. There are any of a dozen reasons to be miserable at a given moment and my friends are precious to me. As this has happened the particular like of who I call a friend has doubled. My needs and wants have decreased amazingly too. I apologize to all who thought I was evoking some sort of torture as I started downsizing my life and stuff, its VERY rewarding. I've learned much about myself during such a period and I can see it will be a longer process than I first thought since I am not just macro downsizing but micro downsizing as I reorganize and reprioritize each issue.

A wise book says:
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Imagine that contentment=relaxation. I know some of you will fight me on this and I am sure there is more to this than just being grateful; but here it is me being relaxed.

So Far, So Good! was the title of Bryan Adam's greatest hits cd from 1993. It was also the first cd I bought when I purchased my cd player from HiFi Express that same year just after I graduated from High School (K if you need the math I'm 32 OK!). Since then I've purchased and parted with thousands of cds - I love music. But that isn't what I've decided to talk about; I'm really interested in the earlier music, the stuff I got on cassette tape in the transition years between records and cd's. In 3 shoe boxes and 1 cassette case I held all of my tapes. Meatloaf's comeback release with the song "I Would Do Anything for Love" or "Objects in the Rearview Mirror"; Van Halen's For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge album (yes, being the naive kid I was missed the acronym sitting before me); Warrant; Damn Yankees; Scorpions; ACDC. The list goes on; each tape had its own memory and each song a specific historical event somewhere in my life.

How do we deal with our history? I mean each of us has a soundtrack running through our skulls of particular music, events, and even world happenings. Still the world turns and we must move on. Why do I bring this up? As I have alluded to in earlier articles I am cleaning up my life through simplification. Though I tend to face life head on I've been finding how much I haven't been dealing with, areas where I just let stuff sit there and gain dust (quite literally if you were to look in some of these boxes). In some ways I've been facing feelings of being a coward, a failure, inept; however, as I've faced these feelings straight on I've found something a bit different.

Because of OTHER faults such as busyness (especially stress from busyness), being overly compassionate (I still ask IS there such a thing), living in the moment, etc I have allowed not dust to collect on my life, but treasures. These treasures are the consequences of the life I`ve choses to live thus far. "For where your treasure is there your heart is also." There is a thought I haven`t been facing in this effort to simplify. I have been beating myself over every box, every item I put on the stack as I let go of my past. To be honest I have cried over some and smiled over others. I remember dancing to Thunderstruck and slow dancing to The Dance. I remember singing Christmas carols in my dad`s truck and rocking out to Bruce Springsteen . Dire Straits sings a song called Brothers in Arms about growing up from to old age and the greatest treasure we will have here on earth. Its not about what we collect or ends up in our boxes, but those who stand by us and help us in our day to day lives, and if we are lucky we get to help them too.

So here we are at 3 in the morning again after another night of contemplating the meaning of life, and my computer still is giving me visions of a slow swinging sledge hammer. But seriously, if I listen to the USA then life is merely my life, my personal freedoms and the chasing after something making me happy. Call me skeptical but um no! Chasing after doctors to guarantee good health; teachers to guarantee intelligence; bosses to guarantee more money; women to guarantee the chance of companionship. In the starting line of one of my favourite songs, "There must be more than this!"

People pursue God in this same manner. If I go to church regularly and pray sometimes and read my Bible, then I should have food on the table; money in the bank; a roof over my head; good health; a good education; lots of things to entertain myself; a gorgeous companion who thinks about me and my well being.... Are you getting sick too?

This week as I deal with my greatest enemy, no not debt collectors; not well meaning fair weather friends; not addictions; not sin nor Satan; but my pride. My need for things to be there the way I want and the way I expect. The need for me to know and control my own destiny when a chance has been put before me. Yes I need to watch out for busyness, time stealers, and things outside of my control. Yes I need to look after my health, to eat well, sleep better, get some exercise, and think positively towards the world.

My life has been put before me to be person focussed, care for those who don't have the chance to gain a foothold and look to grad at life, to share the weight of life if even for just 5 minutes, to befriend the friendless, and encourage the doubters about their ability to succeed. Here I am in Williams Lake, the place of opportunity where teens, single moms, young adults, the religious or non-religious alike all need 1 thing and that is encouragement and support in their day to day lives. A former resident of Williams Lake once said to see a need is evidence enough you are to meet that need.

With the 5 top youth killers in British Columbia being speeding, alcohol related deaths, not wearing proper safety devises (such as seatbelts), child related cancer, drug related, and suicide why do not more people want to come from larger centers. Well the answer is easy - it hurts less to not talk about it. I never thought I'd shed materialism, commercialism, and my pursuits in order to face the problems of the street, but then I also never pictured giving up clothing, computer parts, and old toys for the sake of space and not for monumental gain. This week as we go out, may our eyes be open and alert to the needs we see around us.