Why Be Good When Your Best Isn't Good Enough?

My caffeine fast ended this morning, though I'm yet to have a cup of coffee. I'm waiting for my friend Mike to make me a cup from the beans he roasts himself. YAY! I'm starting with good coffee. I am right now enjoying my herbal tea as I type this and get ready to get back to work. Amazing, no cravings but the freedom to enjoy caffeine should I want.

I have to say freedom is where its at, but we don't seem to get to freedom until we first suffer. I'm allowed to be sarcastic again but I think I'll see how long I can hold out. I still stumble and find myself weak when I'm tired; proving the words coming from my mouth don't reflect a healthy heart.

I've decided to start running the rest of my weak areas through 40 day fasts and seeing if there is a chance to change; my life and social issues freeing myself within by getting a hold of each issue. I'm understanding self control better; 31 years to do so but I'm still not sure about mastery. Self control will come with the continual fasting of areas I've allowed to dominate. I'll have to meditate on the idea of further fasts and see where it brings me.

The next few weeks is writing and studying. I'm amazing how close to graduating I am and still uncertain about how the coming year will unfold. I will go home and have one more garage sale to minimize the clutter in my life and work on the hard part of keeping friends while creating a balance between reading, working, and street work. Somehow money seems somewhat mythical to me right now even though I have a job. Well one stress at a time and laughing will keep me from allowing overwhelming doom to dominate. My room is a mess, but this is an issue I cannot touch until tomorrow. Hehehehe - life is a joy!

# posted by Ozmang @ 11:00 a.m. 3 Comments