Thursday, March 15, 2007
Fast - Halfway Point
It is surprising how fast this fast has gone. I am now 22 days into a 40 day fast on ALL caffein products and sarcastic tendencies. The caffein is under control - I accidently tricked myself into eating chocolate when I wasn't aware, but spit it out when realized what it was I was ingesting. The sarcasm I still have my slips but they are more when I'm tired and frustrated and far and few between now.
In just the last week I have been seeing how important people are and how important grace is in functioning in our humanity. Just today I got stuck in a discussion on whether it is right to remarry after you are divorced. I got mad but man I was crying inside that someone would be devalued down to rules instead of looking at their circumstance.
I have taken up watching the series "Heroes" on NBC and on one of the last episodes there is a father and daughter discussion on her adoption while he tries on glasses. She feels abandoned and alone when she realizes the man she called "father" was not her biological father. He handles it so amazingly "We're your real parents. We don't know who your biological family is, but we are your real family . . . What makes us real isn't where you come from its how much we love you. And we love you very much. I love you very much. You didn't grow inside your mother, you grew inside our hearts." Claire then reaches for a set of glasses and tells him to put them on and he asks how he looks and the answer Claire gives says it all - "Like my dad!"
There are so many times when we try to put boundaries out to protect us - things like rules, hedges around our hearts, language, or even how we act. When we do this without looking at the hearts of those around we miss out. I think we forget why we exist as humans and not any other creature who might survive better than we do. We exist for our humanity and for others. No set of tasks, great writing, nor art piece can replace that fact and sometimes they even diminish our connection to others. I'm still not certain what like will look like after school, but if it doesn't include my humanity with others I don't want a part of it. I've looked at commerce and materialism as a dragon in my life I have to keep re-evaluating; I've looked at what I take in and what comes out of me as things I MUST control; the answer though is my humanity and I must have that if I am to survive and be something of worth to others.
In just the last week I have been seeing how important people are and how important grace is in functioning in our humanity. Just today I got stuck in a discussion on whether it is right to remarry after you are divorced. I got mad but man I was crying inside that someone would be devalued down to rules instead of looking at their circumstance.
I have taken up watching the series "Heroes" on NBC and on one of the last episodes there is a father and daughter discussion on her adoption while he tries on glasses. She feels abandoned and alone when she realizes the man she called "father" was not her biological father. He handles it so amazingly "We're your real parents. We don't know who your biological family is, but we are your real family . . . What makes us real isn't where you come from its how much we love you. And we love you very much. I love you very much. You didn't grow inside your mother, you grew inside our hearts." Claire then reaches for a set of glasses and tells him to put them on and he asks how he looks and the answer Claire gives says it all - "Like my dad!"
There are so many times when we try to put boundaries out to protect us - things like rules, hedges around our hearts, language, or even how we act. When we do this without looking at the hearts of those around we miss out. I think we forget why we exist as humans and not any other creature who might survive better than we do. We exist for our humanity and for others. No set of tasks, great writing, nor art piece can replace that fact and sometimes they even diminish our connection to others. I'm still not certain what like will look like after school, but if it doesn't include my humanity with others I don't want a part of it. I've looked at commerce and materialism as a dragon in my life I have to keep re-evaluating; I've looked at what I take in and what comes out of me as things I MUST control; the answer though is my humanity and I must have that if I am to survive and be something of worth to others.
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