Why Be Good When Your Best Isn't Good Enough?

I am freaked out of my mind. I have worked every night and most of the days for the last 3 weeks and I still have 3 papers left. ARGHHH! My first final is tomorrow (I have 2), so I left myself with 4 finals in 2 days. Joy I am a smart one :P. Time has become something I've come to value - how does one make the most of every moment?

I can easily say I'm looking forward to freedom beyond Summit Pacific College. How can I live so I am not codependant on anyone? How can I live so I am an honest contributer to community and not a sponge?

The fasts I've endured this semester have shown me self control - something I believe I've lacked all along. These fasts have also shown me how easy it is to lay down anything that could be a vice in my life and how to assess if it is. How does one surrender time without death? I surely hope to find out in this life...

I apologize this isn't a witty briliant essay, but mere ramblings of one near the end of his schooling and feels entrapped by cement walls of my own creation that have hardened with poor usage of time. I pray I can make it; I know I can make it. My next blog shall be when I am free of my prison and I pray I not forget the self inflicted pain I now endure.