Thursday, January 31, 2008

 

Which Life Would You Choose?

I am really confused right now because of a statement my mother made: "I do hope something really good happens for you soon - it has been a bit of a negative Winter for you so far!" What would you make of a statement like this?

Here are my last 3 months in a nutshell: my car broke down because of something the previous owners failed to do and let me know about AGAIN, I am finding the work I do stressful due to a lack of apparent progress and the amount of work I put into my work, I had my income halved and student loans came due, I only have two local friends I can talk to about finances who are not struggling in financial debt, I just don't seem to have time to do the cleaning I want around my house, it is warming up to -9 Celcius from the -23 it has been the rest of the week, and most of all I miss certain friends who are amazing support and are out of the country working for a while.

That being said I just found another local group to come along side and partner in the street work I and they currently do, needs are being met and financial opportunities are existing (people helping out and I am getting odd jobs and contracts to pay the bills I need to pay) to a point I may be able to get ahead of the debt load in front of me (how?), I have been able to continue to invest my money monthly (I have not cut back here at all) even though I'm on the tightest budget of my life, I am alive (that has to count for something), I am delusionally happy and satisfied, and people are starting to see my effort and put their trust and support with me - this gives me hope.

My message? Basically I keep landing on my feet. I can't explain it, but by not letting things make me get frustrated, I've found contentment and satisfaction. The things I have been most afraid of all my life have become my greatest opportunities. In this case it is surviving when my parents live so far away, yet here I am still alive and plodding along and seeing successes where I haven't expected. I have found the things I thought I wanted most have became my greatest lessons in why I wouldn't want those things at all in the first place. I am not defined by need OR want, but as a person. I have needs but they are not a drive or control me.

If you told me a month or two before this I would be where I was, I would have dug in tighter and fought the need to let go even harder. I think depression would be an understatement and my existence would be dismal. So am I delusional and crazy? Only time will tell whether this turn is a good one. I am grateful for this change in my expectation and the excitement I face each morning as I get up. Yay life!

Comments:
Way to keep your head up

i think its don cherry who says this but it doesn't matter who says it, its still an amazing quote "keep your head up and your stick on the ice"

Take care man!
 

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